So, this morning I awoke to get ready for work and to prepare myself for compiling a pdf that would morph all day until the last available moment to post because dicks kept changing shit and the system works like an anaconda with a lamb in its innards...
Deep breath. It's Friday. It's over. Pant. Pant. Pant.
So, I was performing my daily ablutions and Mr. Froth was up and about pulling laundry to do or something and as I poked earrings into my ears he said," Oh God."
And I said, "What?!? What?" thinking that Dot or Merv had thrown up/shit on one another or something else, you know, the same ol' same ol'.
He said, "You don't wanna know."
I said, "WHAT?!?"
He said, "Well, I guess there are rats around here."
Back story: we're in pare down mode, get quotes mode, divest ourselves of stuff mode in order to ready this pigsty to sell so we can downsize within the next year or so. We had the trapper keeper round up the raccoon earlier and he laid rat traps in the attic, because we knew there was evidence of rats and we've been here 23 years and I've SEEN rats in the yard in years past. So, no big deal. I think he trapped one a month ago.
Soooo, I wandered over to our bedroom door and gazed upon a fucking. dead. rat. A large fucking. dead. rat.
Hmmm.
My buttcheeks clenched as I envisioned New York City babies having rats trundle across their cribs and us being chewed to death in our sleep and all.
Then, I realized. Merv. MERV had kilt that sucker, brought it in as a trophy, sneakily, last night while the back door was open for a minute while I was smoking a cig or something and I didn't realize it.
That MUST be it. Because, if it isn't, we're screwed.
It was a largish rat there.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
How can you bear the travesties of having dead MICE/RATS/RODENTS anywhere near you??
ReplyDeleteI cannot fathom you.
I compartmentalize. Yessiree, I do. I don't mind if Merv hauls a mole or vole or little mouse (don't ask about the bat) but this rat was awe inspiring and just not good. It's so wrong that I have to believe Merv brought it in. I mean. Really. We've heard squirrels and such for years in the walls and actually haven't heard squat recently, which makes this all the weirder.
ReplyDeleteGood for Merv... but the problem with trophies like this is that they bring them inside... ugh. OTOH there is one less rat in the world. That is likely a good thing. ;)
ReplyDeleteThe Mervster is earning his keep.
ReplyDeleteYou should be proud!
Is there a way to establish what killed that rat? Maybe, hopefully, signs of Merv's teeth on his throat?
ReplyDeleteIf it was Merv: round of applause and an extra treat.
If it wasn't: you're doing right planning to sell and move out
Win-win!
Whew! At least it wasn't a squirrel!
ReplyDeleteGood on Merv! Brr. I've never even seen a rodent larger than a field mouse (except for the brother's pet rats years ago and they don't count, really). Yik.
ReplyDeleteMerv's a stand-up cat. Give 'em an extra scritch from me!
ReplyDeleteI'd take the same thought-process as you. It MUST be the cat or I'm out of here.
ReplyDeleteOur problem is the dogs and their playing with possums. Not pretty at all...but at least it stays outside.
I'd take the same thought-process as you. It MUST be the cat or I'm out of here.
ReplyDeleteOur problem is the dogs and their playing with possums. Not pretty at all...but at least it stays outside.
You should have at least taken a picture to commemorate the event.
ReplyDeleteOk, I'll admit it.....I need help, lots of help.
We had a rat problem in our old house, a pier and beam style built back in the 40's. We solved the problem by letting loose a rat snake under the house.
ReplyDeleteTo this day, that house is the only one in that neighborhood without a rodent problem ;)
Hate those damn things. I once had a basement room and woke up one night to the sound of multiple somethings skittering around in the ceiling. Slept upstairs until we caught all FOUR of the rats living under the floorboards, not one of them less than 9 inches long without the tail. Yeaaks.
ReplyDelete