Okay. I shall be scarce for a weekish or so

Which isn't much different than usual, only that I have a great excuse. Frothlet #1 is tying the knot this Sunday. We head out Thursday. Maybe I could dredge up a post tomorrow. Something stupid. I'll work on that.

In the meantime, I'm totally time-warping on everything. Was a baby. Changed the diapers. Getting married. Gaining a daughter. Need to find a bra to go with dress. Must put kleenexes in purse for ceremony.

Rehearsal dinner expensive. But, we're watching OU/Tulsa during.

Family and friends meeting up, many who have not met either which will be EPICCCC!!!!!!!!!

Fuck the Spanx shit. If my underwear shows, whatev.

Showed Frothlet #1 LeeAnn's daughter's wedding pictures and then the zombie pictures and he lost it. Totally lost it. We shall have no zombie pics, only a usual wedding do. But, hoo boy, that was funny.

I have the most cunning purse to carry.  And cute shoes. That will kill me, probably.

And Frothlet #2 is bestman.  Changed diapers. Now carrying the rings (don't lose them).

Later.

Bookie stuff

All right, I, too, have lifted this from LeeAnn via a detour at Nicole's 

1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien-Read The Hobbit, which I thought great fun; then, read the first in the trilogy, then got through 1/2 of the second and, after I woke up, decided I needed to not be bored any  more and went and got a pizza.
2. The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams-LOVED this and the others. Must reread.
3. The Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card3. 
4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert -Read them all. Have forgotten them all, but need to reread.
5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin (In progress. it’s on the Kindle)
6. 1984, by George Orwell -Read and forgot.
7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury-Read and forgot, but remember enjoying. Read most of Bradbury's. Must reread.
8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov-Read and forgot. Must reread. Do you sense a cranial trend here?
9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley -Read and forgot. Will not reread. Similar to Orwell, who wrote some other stupid depressing book that I started and then threw against the wall.
10. American Gods, by Neil Gaima

11. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman -Read and didn't he write that book about-wait! Marathon Man and Magic! Awesome.
12. The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan
13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell-Read, remember enjoying, but I was, maybe, 12, so there you go. Orwell sucks.
14. Neuromancer, by William Gibson
15. Watchmen, by Alan Moore
16. I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov
17. Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein-I think I've read it, but obviously forgot it. Know it's a classic.
18. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss
19. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut -Read, enjoyed, as I did most of his books. He's a bit of a blowhard now that I think about it.
20. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley
21. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick
22. The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood-Read and LOVED. As annoying as she can be, I really like her books.
23. The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King (Partially, here and there, bit by bit.-Ditto this remark.)
24. 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke
25. The Stand, by Stephen King (Over and over and over.DITTO THIS, TOO.)
26. Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson
27. The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury-Read and forgot.
28. Cat’s Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut-Read and see above

29. The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman
30. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess-Read part of it and then got annoyed.And bored.
31. Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein
32. Watership Down, by Richard Adams-Read and really liked.
33. Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey
34. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein
35. A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller
36. The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells
37. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne
38. Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys-Read
39. The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells-Recently reread it and REALLY re-enjoyed it.
40. The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny
41. The Belgariad, by David Eddings
42. The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
43. The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson
44. Ringworld, by Larry Niven
45. The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin
46. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien-I think I started it, but since it's Tolkien, ...
47. The Once And Future King, by T.H. White
48. Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman
49. Childhood’s End, by Arthur C. Clarke
50. Contact, by Carl Sagan
51. The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons
52. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman
53. Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson
54. World War Z, by Max Brooks
55.Oops. Deleted something
56. The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman
57. Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett
58. The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson
59. The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold
60. Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett
61. The Mote In God’s Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
62. The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind
63. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
64. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke-Started it. But then...
65. I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson-Read, enjoyed, better than the movie
66. The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist
67. The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks
68. The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard
69. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb
70. The Time Traveler’s Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
71. The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson
72. A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne
73. The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore
74. Old Man’s War, by John Scalzi
75. The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson
76. Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke
77. The Kushiel’s Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey
78. The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin
79. Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury-Read, loved, etc.

80. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire -Read, loved and read his others.
81. The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson
82. The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde-Read many of his. LOVE HIM! MUST REREAD AND READ NEW ONES!
83. The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks
84. The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart-I know I read this when I was young.
85. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson
87. The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe
88. The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn
89. The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldan
90. The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock
91. The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury-Read, loved.

92. Sunshine, by Robin McKinley
93. A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge
94. The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov
95. The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson
96. Lucifer’s Hammer, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle-YES! End of the earth shit! Great stuff!
97. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis
98. Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville
99. The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony
100. The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis

There is a HUGE hole in my reading, obviously. Wow.

Shoes for the dress

Found some shoes that I'll be able to wear again that go with the mom-of-the- groom dress and maybe they won't kill me by making me fall as I walk up the aisle to take my blubbering mom-of-the-groom place.

Any of the shiny, sparkly shoes I saw were ugly, or the wrong color,or ugly. There weren't any that were either dark satiny green or bronze/coppery metallic. I walked throughout the entire mall yesterday. I don't do that sort of thing. It's painfully annoying what with the scary looking peeps there in their waaaay too short shorts and tank tops that don't cover the tanks. At least Dillard's came through. DSW failed me.

I also got a bronze/coppery, shimmery, chiffony (I know, too many "-ys") rectangular clutch that has the same color fabric flower on the front. It's very cool and from Charming Charlie and cost only $20! I would carry it with pajamas, it's that cute.

On the origin of family names

So, we're keeping watch over our neighbors' property, which means that we're swimming in their pool and drinking their beer while Dot is a jumping, diving, fetching fool of a waterdog. It's amazing to watch.

Actually, we brought our own beer and dog. And crossword puzzle.

Mr. Froth decides to enlighten me on the backstory of how his family got its name, which happens to be Cogburn. What happened was this-during the passage through Ellis Island the TSA guys asked his great great grandfather where he had come from. I'm assuming Ellis Island was there at the time, or at least was platted.

Froth GGGF: "Scoootlund."
TSA guy: "What's your family name?"
Froth GGGF: "Sprocketflame! Nae! SPROCKETFLAME IN CAPS! Where's the scotch?"
TSA guy: "Say what? Is that a shortbread in your kilt or are you happy to see us?"
Froth GGGF: "Sprocketflame you scarvy bastiche!" (He was part pirate and Johnny Mnemonic fan.)
TSA guy: "Well, if you're gonna make it here in the new country you have to have a name that resonates with the neighborhood and future celluloid endeavors. We'll put down...."

Cogburn.

Mr. Froth made that up all by himself. Such as he does with crossword puzzle words. We were stuck on "member of a colony," which usually ends up to be ant or something. In this case we got to laper which fit with ina which fit with npbvdae, which wasn't a valid word in this universe, but we're hoping to mesh that into adverb.

Me: "Leper!"
Mr. Froth: "I don't know. Aren't there lapers in colonies somewhere in Scootlund?"
Me: "Capers go with shortbread, I think. Is that a kilt in your swimsuit or are you just overdressed?"

Nature. It's what's for sleeping.

We love our nature. We do. We're big into natural shit. Like our naturally rotting deck. And naturally dying landscape. And naturally genuinely reblonded hair.

Some nature, however, is unacceptable, like that which enters our house each early morning via the roof.

We've had rats and squirrels enaht in the past make their way into the walls or up into the attic. We knew this because we heard their family fights and screw sessions while we tried to sleep back in the day. Then we had new back siding put up and were shown what and where they'd imposed themselves and thought, wow, now they're gone.

Perhaps it's global charming, and I'll blame algore for that along with just being a total douchebag, but we now have beings of undiscernible size and provenance that chewed a hole the size of the dryer ducts into the fascia or soffit or whatever the hell it is that goes into our house from the outside. It's un.be.liev.able. (I learned all the punctuation from this which was brought to my attention by her, who got it from her goat averse SO.)

Mr. Froth is headed to Home Depot to buy some wire mesh and poison and rat killing mechanisms or something to thwart further disaster. He'll tack it up and then get up at 5 a.m. to seal it up before they come in for their daylong siesta. Holy crap.

Really. Who knows how many and what are in there. Or what death-dealing boogers they're carrying.

I need wine. And to get my toes did. This just sucks.

UPDATE: We think it may be raccoons. Due to the size of the hole which is worthy of a cable company dig we've put out a trap. Our neighbors have a trap that we've used to get possums before. So, we baited that sucker with apple/peanut butter and the morning may be extremely unpleasant. Especially if there are babies floating around. We'll just have to liberate them one by one in a nearby park.

Here's the deal

Based upon my observations of local/regional politics I know that most people are 94 percent clueless about how things work. My percentages may have a certain margin of error, but they're no more errant than the jackwagon that lives down the block from me who thinks he knows what's going on. And, I guarantee you, he ain't up to speed.

So, extrapolate that out nationally and you're dealing with margins of error that rival whale shark measurements in the relative grand scheme of things.

Disclaimer: I think that regardless of cluelessness, however one votes it all evens out in the long run, because you have those people who study and ruminate, froth and stew, about the issues and the candidates-And, they come out on both sides of the aisle(s), some intelligently, some legitimately, some righteously, some fullashit. Therefore, excepting the retards and psychos who skew things totally, cluelessness is no worse a basis for voting than being actually informed. Because, that's the way we roll. What people fail to realize is that the human race is fallible, is not essentially fixable and is fraught with dingleberries with which it has to deal.There is no obamacare to remove dingleberries. Or, it may BE dingleberries.

He who prevails, prevails. And when those who we think are more worthy, even though they may reek of festering skunk remains, win, it's all good. For at least four years.

Plus ca change. Plus c'est la meme.

Love and happiness

A much perkier and more pleasant post. Wedding plans are afoot for #1 Frothlet, who just got back from his betrothed's hometown. Where they went boating on Grand Lake. Her folks have a lake house and a boat. We don't. He also got a free teethcleaning since as how his future f-i-l is a dentist. BONUS!!!

Speaking of Dr. Fooms, I assume you all won't be traveling to lovely OK for the nuptials. Heh. You'll be missing out on Dink's Barbecue!

The animals are all officially signed up to be boarded at the local pet repository and let me tell you, those cat condos are pretty cool. Dot the Dog will have play and stay, so every day she'll get to meet and greet the other guests. The kittehs get every other day play because they're cats. Don't let me forget to pack their food. And whip out the credit card. Which will be melting around the edges after all this is done.

#1 Frothlet paid off the wedding ring and it is a beaut. Not an ostentatious grossly overblown thing, but a very old fashioned layered flowery looking arrangement of sparklies. It's quite beauteous.

I have a feeling the bride-to-be and mom are revving up to freakout status soon.

Bleakness and Exalted Up Out of the Gutterness

I'm becoming truly jaded. I'm so not intrigued by junkies in movies overcoming either their or their relatives' problems to win a fight or build a port cochere or believe they are role models.

Just watched The Fighter. Marky Mark looks older than his crackhead brother. Melissa Leo looks younger than her crackhead son and Marky Mark. I'm sorry. CASTING?!?!? Fuck the Oscar. 

I reread Last Exit to Brooklyn a year or so ago, a book that was touted back in the day-outlining the existential angst and sorrow that is a junkie in NYC or whatever. I sort of reread it. I got through two chapters and thought-give me a fucking break.

Are we destined to be stewing in our adolescent reading list forever? Our adolescent movie watching forever?

I now just get pissed off about trailer trash forging ahead to make their way in America! Fuck. Watch Toddlers and Tiaras. Come up with something more original people. This is why we don't go to movies. And, mistakenly rent them. Seriously.

Toads

Toads are much maligned. They're a metaphor for jerks and dickheads. They should not be that metaphor. Was that sentence a metaphor? Are we surrounded by continuous metaphors?

Anyway, toads are perky and perspicacious and plucky. They're very cool. Unlike those with whom they're associated metaphorically. Like gummint. Federal, state and local. I think toads should rise up, collectively bargain and insist upon a more righteous characterization. No. Really. Maybe not collectively bargain. Perhaps just negotiate with management. Which would be me.

So, as I age and approach my sixth decade I've come to the realization that there is pretty much a lot over which I have no control, and that many, many things cannot be fixed. Some things will continue to be broken and will not necessarily progress, just change in their obnoxiousness. Like the gummint.

When it all really, truly resembles a poorly written novel with weakly defined protagonists and pissant antagonists it's pretty  much---let's go on a picnic! If it weren't so hot.

It's as if your crazy Aunt Mabel got control of your bank account, job possibilities, voters' registry and liquor supply and decided to make shit up. Let's make shit up! Let's just make. shit. up.

So. There you have it. I'm hoping that the powers that be pick up on this insight and work with it to untangle some things. Like our descent into banana republicness or general stupid.

Frying. Enervating. Hot. Dry.

Enough bitching. No, I dint get picked for jury duty! They settled all the cases. Whoo hooo! I was chatting with one of the defendants before all this worked out so I figured I could have told them I was biased since she appeared to be a very sweet, young, respectful defendant. No need.

Meetings. Abound. Forever. And ever. And my butt loses more nerve endings by the week.

A giant toad was on the deck this morning and Dot had no energy to jump on it. It just slithered between the deck slats and disappeared. Sort of like my right ear as it melted at lunch and fell off onto the deck chair. It affords a bit of texture to the furniture.

The world is fucked. Luckily we don't look at whatever sparse money we have sitting in mutual funds, so we don't know what we've lost or gained. Gained? Bwahahahhahaaaaa. That is too funny.

I got a dress to wear to Frothlet 1's wedding! It's quite lovely. Here it is. I, unfortunately, do not look like this.

But, if I get a face transplant, body transplant and shoe transplant, I shall. However, it is a lovely dress. Plus, it's from the FALL LINE! I am SO au courant.